Yes, I know, I'm blushing

Well, more time has passed in relationship land with Curling Boy, and, oh my gosh, I really like him. It's getting annoying, but yes, I'm smitten. Stop laughing, Boudica! Yes, I know, I'm blushing like crazy.

So here's what's been going on in date-world:

Over the weekend I moved from a Seattle suburb to Seattle proper (first time in a big city!). Curling Boy helped me move on Sunday, and then we saw a movie, hung out at his place (cuddles on his bed? yes please!). And no, it stayed G-rated. His brother and good friend came over, and we all sat around watching tv, joking around, having a good time. I think I passed the "does she mesh well with my friends" test with flying colors (thank god for baklava). No, but really, we had a great time.

It was getting late (10:40-ish) and I was exhausted. So, sitting next to Curling Boy on the couch, I curled up against him and closed my eyes as the guys kinda just chatted, things generally winding down. I, woops, "fell asleep". :D

So around 11 the brother and friend left, and I was just curled up against Curling Boy. He put his arm around me, kissed the top of my head (uh!), and just held me for like twenty minutes!! Oh my!

By this point, I'm beyond tired, and need some sleep. I "wake up", snuggled in his arms, and did a "oh, look at the time, I need to get home and go to sleep". His response?

"You can stay here, if you'd like."

Oh my god!!! (Finally!) Yes, yes, I *would* like.

And things got a little... not G-rated.

In the morning, he made me breakfast (a really good one, actually), and off I went to keep moving.

Last night, he asked me if I wanted to join him and another of his friends (Fraggle Rock) at the AFK tavern for dinner. A chance to see my boyfriend for our first post-coitis interaction. Uh, yes.

So I drive to his place, we go pick up Fraggle Rock, and off to dinner. The boys, bless their hearts, sit next to each other. Not exactly what I was hoping for. Kinda....made me feel akward. And in desperate need of validation.

But we talked, ate, laughed, etc. for, like, two hours! So much fun. Fraggle Rock gave me such a sweet, earnest "I had a lot of fun talking with you" when we dropped him off. It was really touching. And made me so proud that Curling Boy had a friend-approved girlfriend.

At this point, it's crazy late. I need to get home and get to sleep, and Curling Boy is a bit militaristic about his bed time on work nights. So we're in the parking lot of his apartment complex, "saying" goodbye. And I just keep kissing him. So wonderful. Nice little bit of validation there.

I got home, and immediately closed my online dating profiles.

Two week check-up

Two weeks ago, today, I said I would start a relationship with Curling Boy, and check in after two weeks to see how things are going, and how I feel about being my true self around him.

Well, after two weeks, I'm actually quite happy. I've really challenged myself to say the things I'd normally say in a circumstance - not hold my tongue or edit my thoughts. The more I be myself, the easier it becomes. And Curling Boy hasn't run away screaming, yet, so that's a good sign.

Reading through my blog with some girlfriends over the weekend, I noticed I hadn't written an update on Marysville Man. Pft. Well, the jerk fell off the face of the planet.

I was speaking with Siren, and I was lamenting how hot he is, and she said something great: "Hot guys tend to be more drama". Wow, does that seem true.

Another funny update - on my OkCupid account, I've noticed that I keep getting 'matched' with The Father. And oh man, his new profile pic - it's a close-up of his eye. With eyeliner on.

The evil laughter that this erupts from me is beautiful. Maleficent would be proud!

So, you may be asking, "Hey, Seattleite, have you disabled or canceled your OkCupid and Match.com accounts?". The short answer is no. Here's why-

Partially, I'm cynical, and I kinda feel like things aren't going to last with Curling Boy. It's not that I don't want them to, but the last couple of guys I met online all turned out to just sail right past my "no-no line" (like that, Starfish?), and do things that are on my 'do this and we're done' list.

Ok, the other part for not canceling my accounts. Well, golly, I'm gunna have to be extreemly honest here. Deep breath. Ok.

It's cuz not only is having guys hit on me good for my self esteem, it, well, it makes me feel more wanted and desirable. Yep. Self esteem is a bitch.

And the old farts! Hahaha! Ok, so I told Alaska that I was in a relationship, and he's pulled his mad hitting on me back a bit. I was chatting with Starfish about it, and she bust up laughing, telling me how Alaska hits on her too, and started to list things he would say to her - wow, the *exact* same things he says to me.

Ok, advice to the men of the world. You may think you have a line or a phrase that works. Fine. Go for it. But when you use the line or courting verbiage to two girls, that are friends, and treat it like you're seriously trying to start a relationship you're setting yourself up for a major burn.

Ahh, but maybe that's why he's still single.

So today is Valentine's Day. Big, imposing, messy day of expectations for people in relationships. Men are expected to romance and give gifts. Women are expected to wear slutty lingerie, and thus hot sex occuring. Very intimidating for a girl in a new relationship - hell, anyone in a new relationship. Especially when expectations are unknown, and you're still trying to figure out what your partner likes (in sooo many ways).

During our date on Sunday (the 12th), Curling Boy and I had our first serious make-out session.

And today on FaceBook he posted an article about how "scientists" see sex. And he states that the female orgasm is an incentive for sex.

OH MAN! My burning face. Yeah, we haven't progressed far in our physical relationship, and I'm now wondering if he's expecting sex tonight. I'm certainly not. Nor do I think I'm ready for it. Maybe some makin' out, get to second base, maybe third. We'll see. :D

I kinda see our first time together as a weekend thing - where neither of us are thinking about work the next day, and what time we need to get to bed, I mean sleep, to be functional the next day. And going to a guy's house, having sex for the first time, then getting kicked out cuz it's a work night - yeah, SO not my bag, baby.

So we'll see how tonight goes. I'll be sure to check in tomorrow and let you know.

But to everyone else, either in a relationship or not, happy Valentine's Day. May your partner, battery-operated or otherwise, give you some good incentives tonight.

Wait, what?

Well it's been an interesting week, ladies. Lots to share, and maybe you can help me understand, well, what the hell happened!

Over the weekend was a big event for a medieval group I am a part of. I worked the weekend, introducing the concepts of our organization to folks off the street. Yes, I'm a big 'ol geek. But I love it.

I invited Curling Boy to attend. I figured that if we were going to be seeing each other, and possibly moving forward, that he needed to see this, see me in this, and understand just how incredibly important the medieval stuff is to me. So he said he would come. He even said he would make something for the potluck after-party on Saturday. Color me impressed!

We messaged a bit (as he doesn't text - how do you not text??), and he said he would be there mid to late morning. I worked my booth, smiled, chatted, did my dance. No Curling Boy. Color me anxious. I check messenger - he's slept late and still needs to cook, he'll be there just after lunch. Ok, great, thank you for the update. I relax a little, and get back to work. And time passes. And passes, and still no Curling Boy. I'm anxious again.

Maybe I should interject here about why I'm so anxious. This medieval stuff, well, it's my bliss. My guilt-less ecstasy. The last 'normal' guy I hit it off with and introducted him to this side of me ran off screaming like I was a drooling zombie. And yet he accepted my fascination with zombies with no problem. Go figure.

So Curling Boy not showing up, delaying a few times with me, made me worried this was him running away from the zombie. Finally, around 4:30, he shows up. Oy vey. I'm now a little frazzled, a bit impatient, a bit pissy, achy, and ready to open the bottle of Lambic in my basket. As I was still working, I threw a tunic on him and sent him into the world while I wrapped some things up. We then took a circut of the site, introducing him to the wonderful people in my life.

And then we went to court, and surprise, surprise I got an amazing award. I must say, it was so wonderful to have someone to share that moment with. It's funny how we forget how wonderful it is to share those things with someone. Now I'm feeling all squishy inside; a purring cat.

Time for the potluck. We get our plates, sit with some of my great friends, and get to noshing. Sitting with us are Fleetwood Mac, her boyfriend Sprite, Boudica, and Siren (whom I am going to be living with). We're all chatting, having fun, and blah blah blah. Siren starts talking about something (I'll be honest, I didn't catch it, I was a little in my cups), and Curling Boy piped up with "I should introduce you to my ex, I think you two would have fun talking about that." Insert my jaw, fallen to the ground, flies able to buzz in and out of it.

Are you kidding me?? No. My friends. Not your ex's friends. Mine. She doesn't get to meet them. She doesn't get to even know if they have a shared interest. These are mine, and she can't have them. And you bring up your ex, in general? Come on. Babe, I know you two were together for a long time, but really - you've got to seperate yourself and be your own individual here. You can't always be "blah-blah's ex".

I thought about it the next day as I was back at the event, and all day Monday. My conclusion is that he must still be in love with her. I share my thoughts with Siren, who brings up another good point, which was like a dull haze in the back of my head until she shined some light on it. I act much, much more reserved around Curling Boy. I'm not the wild, energetic, free spirit I usually am. What's up with that? I ponder that some, and I think it's the issue my therapist and I have been working on for almost three years - my insaine need to have people like me. I will change my character to fit what I think people will like. I hate that. I thought I was over that.

"I'm ending it with him," was my solution. I prepared this whole schpiel in my head about how I like him but his still loving 'blah-blah' was hurting me. So I go to his house Monday night. I start my schpiel, and he interjects, "I don't think I'm still in love with her, but she was a big part of my life. Please be patient with me, and I really like you, too, and don't want this to end."

Oh I'm such a big baby. I can't hurt him. I do, honestly, like him. Yes, he's got moves that make a snail look fast, but he's very sweet and I like being with him. He then pulls me into his arms and holds me, rubbing my back, saying that he's glad I came over to talk, and other things that escape my memory. He then says that he'd like to start introducing me as his girlfriend. Ok, that shocked me. I made a non-commital noise, kinda blown away by it.

Aaaand then he says "and at some point I'd like to figure out how to get you in the sack". WOW!! My inner southern lady (yes, I have one) wants to bolt up and say, "my word!" with rightous indignation. And another, smaller, wickeder part of me is cackling, saying "about time".

Guess who I listen to? That's right.

So after about an hour of cuddling and talking, I need to head home. He gives me some kisses. More tongue than ever, but still that damn quick, pecky thing. I get in my car and drive home, asking myself how the hell all this happened. I go there to end things and end up his girlfriend. It's now time to call Siren.

Siren then gave me some incredibly good advice - I have two options. I can end things with him, or give him the opportunity to know the real me, and possibly like the real me. My god, she amazes me. (I'm really quite lucky to have such smart friends.)

I think it through, and I decide that it would be a shame to throw away a potentially good relationship because of me being afraid, or whatever it is I'm feeling.

And so I stand before you a girl in a relationship. A somewhat dismayed, confused girl, but wrangled.

Curling Boy, it seems, was wicked fast about posting on FaceBook his new relationship status. Did you know his mom is friends with him on FB? Well she is. And she's quite delighted in her son's accomplishment.

And to make me even more confused, Marysville Man has popped back up. That's right. He's texting me again. Being kinda...aloof? But present and, uh!, fracking tempting. Stop that, S! (that's me, ladies) I'm going to jump into this new relationship with both feet and make an honest effort here. I'm going to keep track of how things go, and how I feel, and assess things after two weeks. If I still can't step up and be myself I need to end things. I absolutely hate the idea of hurting Curling Boy (wimp), but I need to be true to myself.

And I'm moving soon and it sure would be great to have him help out with that.